married yet
Release Date: 9/96, 3/08
Album: KEEP YOURSELF AMUSED and DAYLIGHT KISSING NIGHT
Writer: ADAM MARSLAND
Lyrics:
Wow it sure is weird to see you here
For a while you seemed to disappear
From my standpoint it was just as well
'Cause I filled my quota of emotional hell
And what ever happened to what's his name
That 30-something guy who epitomized lame
Did you follow through with your master plan
To take him as your lawfully wed old man
Are you married yet?
Are you married yet?
Did you go through with the big I do
Is there still some hope for you-know-who?
Are you married yet?
Are you married yet?
I'll give you one more chance to act your age
Or are you otherwise engaged
Even now at this late date
When I think of your decision to conjugate
Your memory still has the power
To hit me full force in the shower
The water seeps into my brain
Like tears of torrential acid rain
That eats away at my common sense
And I imagine us together decades hence
Are you married yet?
Are you married yet?
Can mushy feelings run so deep
I'm undergoing submission creep
Are you married yet?
Are you married yet?
I better go and change the topic quick
'Cause I've become the kind of guy
Wouldn't it be swell?
Hit me over the head with a book and bell
Can you spell H-E-L-L
Which option's worse
Living without you or with you 'til I'm riding in a hearse
Or 'til you do, whichever comes first
Make your mind up before it's too late
'Cause lost is he who hesitates
So open the window
Lower the ladder
Throw down your suitcase
Next stop Nevada!
Woke at 5 in the morning spelled with a "U"
I guess it's so that sometimes the worst nightmares do come true
Little memory of the last night lingers
But there's a golden reminder
Wrapped 'round my left fourth finger
It's the stupidest notions that we love the best
Now it's painfully clear that alea jacta est
So before we face the reveille
Will you this one question answer me?
Are we married yet?
Are we married yet?
Did we go through with the big I do
Is there still some hope for you know who?
Are we married yet?
Please say the answer's "nyet"
I better take a club and go bludgeon cupid
I can't believe I could be so stupid!
Are we married yet?
Are you married yet?
Adam sez:
"Married Yet" is a good example of getting carried away with a lyrical idea. The original conceit was a comical sequel/counterpoint to "Koreatown" (which was released after this but written and performed earlier). "Koreatown"'s tale of an arranged marriage was so tragic and depressing that I found myself thinking that if the guy in the song married the girl himself, it could have been even worse.
Once I started thinking about the idea of reconnecting with an old girlfriend who you still had the hots for, and the disastrous results that followed, I could not stop. I started writing this in the shower, continued on my way to work and was still scribbling about an hour later. I wound up with something like three pages of lyrics, replete with endless wordplay and lines in Old English ("book and bell" = wedding ceremony), Russian ("nyet") and Greek ("alea jacta est" = the die is cast). When I got around to writing the music, it was equally convuluted, with so many descending cadences and key changes that it was recently pointed out to me by Evie Sands that the song cycles through every single chord in the 12-step scale, which is hard enough to do even if you're trying to do it. I wasn't trying.
With all that and the kitchen sink, not to mention the frenetic pace the song is played at, I was highly doubtful that anyone would be able to follow the thing at all. But to my surprise, the song kept getting brought back every time I retired it, later becoming a staple of my acoustic shows and recently we've started performing it yet again. It's fun to play...you just sort of hang on and hope you get 'til the end in one piece. When we started putting together DAYLIGHT KISSING NIGHT, fans basically demanded that this song go on, and we wound up going into the studio very late in the process and bashing out a surprisingly good version of the song -- a far superior recording to the KEEP YOURSELF AMUSED track without losing any of the rocking fun -- which made the album.
Rob Cassell used to pride himself on being able to play this song entirely in downstrokes. I used to do this thing during the breakdown where I'd go out into the audience and start hassling them. One night in San Diego I got carried away and started jumping around on couches and rolling on tables and basically it went on for about five minutes, and all the while Rob is playing an "F" on the bass in fast downstroke eighth notes, and his right arm is slowly going rigid with muscle tension. He was some kind of pissed at me afterwards!